the bearded lady

bad dog

February 12, 2011 at 10:32 pm (foodstuffs, parents, possession by spirits)

A bad girl was caught stealing apples, and dragged home with her ear between the neighbour’s thumb and forefinger.

Her Mother said she was more trouble than the stupid dog. She put her hands on her hips and stood with her feet wide apart. Her legs were bare and hairy, and she wore big boots of leather without the laces. The bad little girl stared at the lolling tongues of her mother’s boots.

‘What’s wrong with you?’ Said Mother. ‘What have I told you about stealing?’

The little girl shrugged and tried to look innocent, but there was apple juice running down her chin. Her mother sighed and said, at least the dog doesn’t tell lies.

So she told the girl to go and sleep in the dog’s bed, and she told the dog to come upstairs and sleep in the girl’s bed, and to put its head on her pillow, and wear her clothes and play with her dolls. And the girl slept on a blanket in a corner of the kitchen, and had nothing but a bone to play with.

Now, the mother was a very busy woman. The next day, she forgot to swap the dog and the girl back to their normal places. ‘I really must remember to do that,’ she thought, making a mental note of it. But tomorrow came, and the next day, and somehow it slipped her mind again. Besides, the dog was so happy to sleep in a real bed and wear real clothes, and it developed quite charming manners. Meanwhile, the girl grew very gruff. She wet the bed and chewed the furniture and howled all night long.

After a while, the mother felt it would be a shame to swap the dog and the girl back. The dog was no trouble at all. It was getting very good reports from school. On the other hand, the little girl was growing more vicious by the day. It would never do to try to force it into a blazer or give it books to read. It would eat the books and tear the blazer apart.

In the end, it was too wild to keep in the house. The mother threw it out into the snow, giving it a kick with her big leather boots. The bad dog whimpered, and ran away into the forest. And the little girl sighed, and licked her paw thoughtfully, and stayed sitting out in the yard until the bad dog’s howls could no longer be heard.