answer
The ghost telephone rings in the middle of the night, and the middle of the day, too. We don’t have a telephone in the house. We don’t even have a telephone connection. But still the damn phone rings all the time.
It wakes me from sweet dreams. It goes off in the middle of my favourite television programmes. I have tried picking up the air, pretending that there is a receiver in my hand, saying hello? hello, who’s there? but I end up feeling stupid, and anyway the telephone still rings and rings, all hours of the day and night.
My housemate doesn’t hear it. I ask her, didn’t it keep you awake all night? And she gives me that look, that tolerant smile. I’m not crazy. It’s just the ringing phone is driving me that way.
What do they want, that’s what I’d like to know. I’ve got an answering machine set up in the hallway, but there are never any messages on it. I’m considering having a phone line connected, although surely that could only lead to more confusion.
The worst thing is, I always feel that the phone is ringing for me. That it wants me, my voice on the line. That it is ringing to tell me something important, something I should know about my life. If only I could get those messages, everything would be all right. The damn phone would stop ringing and everything would be fine.
Reb Alexander said,
January 22, 2011 at 5:31 pm
This is lovely, just balancing on that is she haunted/is she crazy edge. Not wanting to be seen as either, I have to admit that we have a phantom doorbell that goes off occasionally, from the house I loved in twenty years ago, that only me and my daughter can here…it sometimes rings at 3 in the morning.
mand said,
January 25, 2011 at 1:42 pm
The house you loved in? Maybe it was just trying to interrupt you …
kate m said,
February 1, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Phones are a good “charged object” for writing I think – they’re really ghostly things to begin with. I have a disconnected rotary phone that sometimes gives a single ring and it can be a bit startling.
thebeardedlady said,
February 2, 2011 at 11:44 am
Totally agree, kate. We’ve probably all had some spooky experiences with phones – I know I have. Unfortunately, mobile phones don’t have quite the same qualities. Although, there was this one time when I was walking to work and my phone started beeping in my pocket. I took it out, and on the screen were the words IDIE, then it turned itself off! That was kind of weird
kate m said,
February 2, 2011 at 3:35 pm
I think that sort of message can be down to programmers being a bit naughty. Recently I tried to reset the memory of my niece’s Furby (the talking furry toys that were popular about ten years ago). When I pressed the reset button it started gabbling “No! No! Me scared.”
The silly thing was, I really felt as though I might be hurting it!
mand said,
February 3, 2011 at 4:41 pm
I once had a long rambling call from my mother’s mobile, a few minutes of speech I couldn’t make out (in her voice) rather obscured by what sounded like rapid footsteps on gravel. Or rather my answerphone had that. I assumed the shortcut to my number had been pressed accidentally, but she said she hadn’t switched her phone on that day and hadn’t even been out…
Never had anything remotely spooky with any landline, though.
Benjamin Norris said,
February 2, 2011 at 12:01 pm
You’ve been sorely missed.
And displacing the phantom limb into the world of unavoidable access, the thronging, pulsating hum we have allowed ourselves to live in… that’s a worthy return from a hiatus.
Wonderful, thanks.
thebeardedlady said,
February 3, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Thank you! You are too kind