three minutes
# 1
“What kind of music do you like?”
I shrug. “Oh, a bit of everything, really.”
“Everything? You can’t like everything. That’s stupid.”
I take the bait. “Why is it stupid?”
“Do you like Shania Twain?”
“Not especially, but…”
“Do you like death metal?”
“No, I don’t really…”
“Do you like car alarm music? Do you like French pop music? Do you like Christian rock?”
“No.”
“Do you like dolphin relaxation music, Jean Michel Jarre, Shakin Stevens, elevator music? Do you like Katie Melua?”
I say nothing. I give him a hard stare, and finally he retreats and leans back in his seat, folding his arms. “I’m just saying,” he says.
# 2
“I love to travel,” he says. “Do you love to travel?”
“Well, I guess I…”
“Me too. Love it. Like, I went to South America last year? Amazing. We went in the Amazon jungle and had like this major party? And then we went to Argentina and it was so cool. The entire economy had like just totally collapsed so we were drinking champagne for like fifty pence a bottle. Awesome. So what about you? You been to South America?”
“No, I just came back from Africa. I was working on a health project in Congo…”
“The Congo? Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo. Do they all drink Um Bongo?”
“What?”
“Um Bongo?”
“What?”
He gives me his best little-boy smile and I fire back my best quizzical frown. We sit like this, silently, for the remaining two minutes.
# 3
“Tell me everything about yourself.”
“Everything?” I laugh. “We’ve only got three minutes. I hope I can’t sum up my whole life in three minutes.”
“Good point! You seem like an interesting person. I love intelligent, strong women. Tell me about your work. What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a nurse,” I say. “A tropical nurse specialist. I work for Medicin San Frontieres. Just come back from Congo, there was a lot of cholera and malaria there, but obviously we were seeing a lot of victims of violence and rape too. Now I’m training other nurses to work in areas affected by civil war.”
“A nurse? Woah. That’s awesome.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I really love my job.”
“I bet you look hot in a uniform.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Hey, we all know what nurses are like. Woo boy. I’m definitely marking your card.”
